Any long-suffering artist knows that the most difficult part of hosting guests is neither planning nor cleaning – it's the way to get your visitors to go unaware when the party is over.
Whether you have friends for a game night or your in-laws are away for an extended visit, it's hard to say firmly but tactfully to your guests that it's time to move forward . Especially if you want to preserve the relationship (or if you need it for the sake of your marriage).
As Ben Franklin said, "Customers, like fish, start to smell after three days." Let's take a look at three strategies for your guests to smell fresh, away from home.
Strategy # 1: Set Early Limits
The best way to deal with a guest who has slept too much at home is not having to do it at all. If you set boundaries early (or even before the start of the tour or event), you can avoid conflict and uncomfortable situations.
Include a start and end time
If you are hosting a party, include the start and end times on the invitation. For more formal parties, this is easy: just add this limit to the invitation.
Things get a bit complicated when you invite people to a more casual meeting place. In this scenario, indicate your preferences in advance. Try sending a text message like, "Why do not you come around seven? But with your head up! I have to get up early tomorrow, so I can only hold up to 10. "Setting boundaries early on makes the task less arduous when you apply the program later.
With guests, having an end date is even more important. They can use your patience and your resources, so knowing when they are leaving can help your state of mind. Before your guests arrive, ask them gently how long they plan to stay and whether they have booked a round trip ticket. You can also define your limits here. Say something like, "I'd love it if you came from the 10th to the 15th! I have to be back to work on the 16th, however, so I'm going to need the place for me right here. "
Have a schedule
If you have guests staying for several days, staying on schedule can eliminate anxiety and structure your time together. It can also remind you both when it's time to separate. Once you have completed the last part of your itinerary, you can move on to the "let's finish" phase.
Strategy # 2: Lead them politely to the outside
If you have forgotten to set a schedule in advance or it seems that your guests are unaware of the agreed boundaries, you can do some things to indicate in a subtle (and not-as-subtle) way that you're not sure. ;It's time to go. . These polite suggestions will help you get your guests out while preserving your friendship.
Use body language
Never underestimate the power of social cues so people know you're ready to go. If you have a party and are ready to talk about the party, start cleaning up. Once you start cleaning the dishes, most people understand that the pleasure is over.
You can also yawn or watch your watch. A well-placed stretch and exhausted expression tell savvy customers that you're tired of their presence … for now.
If you've used the technique of yawning and stretching without success, the next step is to politely, but firmly, ask your guests to get excited.
Say something like, "It's been great, but I really need to go to bed." Add to your words an action, such as getting up or starting to clean the garbage. By interrupting the activity in progress, you focus on getting ready to leave.
If you have a guest staying at home, a frank conversation should help them understand that it's time to leave. To preserve the relationship, it's best to have this conversation in advance rather than the minute you need it. Try something like, "It's great to welcome you here, but I have to go back to my usual routine. Would you be able to leave on Thursday? Setting these expectations lessens the tension of an embarrassing conversation.
Offer to help them from
If you have a guest who is staying with you out of necessity (for example, if your house was lost or broke up with a boyfriend), offer to help them find a new place. Suppose you are looking for a home with them or are working with your common knowledge to find a new place where they could crash. Offering help will alleviate the panic and uncertainty the person faces when trying to find a new place.
Strategy # 3: Become Hostzilla
So, you have defined the limits and had the conversation firm, but they are still there? It's time to become Hostzilla and recover your space. It may be that you do not have a good relationship with the people you object to after trying these suggestions, but at least you will find your place!
If they do not understand the message when you talk to them directly, maybe ignoring them will work! This strategy is particularly useful with long-term house guests. Stop talking to them. Stop buying them food. Stop including them in your plans. Nobody likes to suffer in silence.
Do something they hate
What is worse than to ignore someone? Do something that they hate! Make them so uncomfortable that they can not help leaving.
If your hostess hates dogs and you have corroded yours, let Fido fall on their bed and roll in their clothes. If they hate pickles, fill them with your fridge.
The idea is to create a physical and emotional environment so embarrassing that they must escape it!
Playing at "Closing Time"
Control the Spotify playlist and put "Closing Time" in a loop. The first few times, people could sing. At the tenth time, the message will be entered. Or they will simply want to escape the song.
Being a guest can be fun and rewarding, but also exhausting, especially if your guests do not know when to leave. Follow these tips to recover your space and mental health. And remember: the best way to not hate accommodation is to make sure you have a good time too.